| This time for your convience...presented with paragraph goodness. So, there I was leaving work when I came up on this red light. Know if you now me, you now that I am kind of a
legend around the racing area in my town. Every day i get of off work I am usually challanged by some punk kids wanting to race my Z in there Riceburning Corolla's. Off course I have never lost a race mostly because my SGP Stage 17 TT always leaves all of the stupid honda riceburners sitting at the light. Some of you may have read some of my real life experiences from some of my previous posts on twinturbo.com and twinturbo.net. Lately I have been trying to keep a low profile in my town and the tt.net website because I grew wairy of making the ladies faint with my awsomneness. So anyway I was sitting at the red light when I heard the sounds of sirens blazing in the distance. As any respectable person would do I pulled out of the road to make way for the policeman flying by doing about 100mph. I found myself in the local waterburger restaurant. I popped the clutch and rolled into the drivethru wondering what the policeman was in such a hurry for. I got to the ordering microphone and placed my order for a Bacon Cheese Waterburger with extra jalopinos. After waiting about 5 minutes for the other cars in front of me in line to clear out, I finally eased my way up to the first window and paid for the food. I could hear some music coming from inside the restaurant but thought nothing of it. I was hungry and I rolled up to the second window. As I got closer I noticed a pudgy balding man sitting on a stool in the place where I was expecting to be handed my food. He had a guitar. As I got closer I noticed the SGP logo on his shirt and I proceeded to tell Kyle that I did not need another serinade. After about 5 minutes of me explaining to Kyle that I was not interested in Men he finally got off his stool and handed me my burger. Apparently SGP was not treating him that well so he is now working at waterburger. I'm not sure why he brings his guitar to work everyday. Kyle, if you are reading this, you forgot to add my f***ing cheese! Anyway, I took the bag from kyle and started back on my way. I turned back onto the road and proceeded to head home. As I turned onto my road I noticed that all the policeman were in MY driveway. There was also 3 firetrucks parked along with a ambulance. I parked behind the ambulance and got out of the car to walk into my driveway. As i passed by the ambulance I could tell there was something off about it. I took a closer look into the window of the ambulance and I noticed a refrigeration unit inside. with stickers all over it like "icecream sandwich", "bombstick", and that Mickey Mouse fudge thing with gumball eyes. I looked at the paint on the outside of the ambulance and noticed it was flaking off a little. I started to peel a peice off and I noticed This ambulancce was not a ambulance. this was the damn Icecream truck that tried to kill me a couple of years back. I thought to myself. If this ambulance is not real...Then the firetrucks is not real. And the policeman. Everything was starting to come together. I moved my Z a couple of blocks down the street away from everyones view. Everyone was standing outside in my back yard and I did not think they noticed me yet. I started to disassemble all of the cars in my driveway. I did'nt have all my automotive tools at my disposal so I had to act quick. I removed all of the wheels and gas tanks of all the vehicles in my driveway. Then I went over to the riceburning firetrucks. I removed all of the doorhandles and then tied all of their fire hoses together with a special loop knot I learned back when I was watching a sailor movie once. I then went back over to the "ambulance". I opened the back doors and found the button for the icecream song. I jumped out of the van and waited for everyone hiding in my back yard to come out front. It only took a moment. About 40 riceburners all dressed up in uniforms came running out towards me. They looked at their vehicles and then glaired at me. I stood in my driveway unafraid. know, if you now me, you now that I do not back down from anyone. Not in a race, and not in person. I had spent coutless thousands of dollars in upgrading my Z, but what many people are unaware of. I also spent the same amount upgrading myself. That's right. I have a jim wolf ecu in my ass. It's something that myself and Victor Maximillion have been working on. Victor used to be a surgon before he became my Z spy weapons expert. We call the procedure bionic boost. I have a boost controller and everything. So there I was...standing in front of 60 riceburners. It was kind of sad that they were unaware of the vicious beating they were about to receive. I pooped open a can of fuel injector cleaner that I got at autozone and gulped it down. I was ready. I began to unleash a buradge of uppercuts, sidekicks, roundhouse and cressent kicks on the first group that rushed at me. I grabbed one of them and began to knaw on his forehead. It's really not that appealing as it sounds, i really just did it to freak out the next group of people that tried to rush me. I began this assault with a jump snap mule kick that landed directly on target of riceburner number 48. After I finished my assault on riceburners anonomus, I grabbed my poostick and went to work. I didn't have much ammo on the end of it so I had to spread it around carefully. Mostly just on people's upper lips. I was getting pretty tired and needed to cool down. I jumped back in my Z and proceeded to drive down to the local icecream parlor. I figured I would give them enough time to wake up from their beatings and realize they had some stink on them and rush home to take a bath. I order my usual rocky road and sat down at the nearest booth to the window so I could watch my Z while I ate. I noticed the tt.net member Dallas DamonZ sittiing by himself in the corner eating some pink sherbert. I walked over to him and pulled up a chair. I felt sorry for him eating all alone on new years eve. And just to remind you again Dallas DamonZ. Pink sherbert is for sissy's. there was no excuse for that. Happy New Years everyone.
Billy B.
Race Car Driver.
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13:45:46 01/01/09
